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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28325622">We wish you a merry Ficmas (and a geeky new year)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Serameli/pseuds/Serameli'>Serameli</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Doctor Who &amp; Related Fandoms, Torchwood</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alcohol, Boxing Day, Christmas, Crack, Double Drabble, Drabble, Drabble Collection, Fluff and Humor, Humor, Multi, Not beta read we die like Owen, Oneshot, References to sex toys, Skype, Swearing</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 17:33:45</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,458</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28325622</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Serameli/pseuds/Serameli</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Ladies, gentlemen, and everyone in between, have I got a Christmas present for you! A dump for all my festive drabbles that will be updated every yuletide season with whatever I can come up with in December. All fics will take place between advent and epiphany, so prepare for plenty of turkeys, tinsel, and winter booze (at least in this writing). Tags will definitely be added to, though ratings are unlikely to change. As for fandoms, it’s mostly going to be Doctor Who related (and if you’re worried about other religious holidays being left out, they’ll be getting their own drabble dump).</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Gwen Cooper/Rhys Williams, Jack Harkness/Ianto Jones</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>We wish you a merry Ficmas (and a geeky new year)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Gwen was, quite frankly, Christmas mad. This was discovered, by Ianto anyway, on the first of December, when he got called up to help with a ‘heavy object’ which turned out to be an 6ft tall live Christmas tree in an enormous pot (Jack reckoned him and Gwen would be able to carry it to the lift, he was wrong). Over the month, much to Owen’s dismay (and by extension Ianto’s amusement), the hub got increasingly more festive, with tinsel, snow globes, and assorted reindeer ornaments appearing on every surface. The others even joined in, with Ianto adding his little historically-accurate, re-painted nativity set (he wouldn’t admit the reason it got re-painted was because he found it practically falling apart at a car boot fair being given away for free) and Tosh bringing in several boxes of fairy lights. It was a couple of weeks into December when Gwen decided to take things up a notch.<br/>
“I think we should all get each other something for Christmas”<br/>
“Why?” Came a reply from the autopsy bay.<br/>
“Because we’re basically a family at this point, and it’s a nice thing to do”<br/>
“Yeah, don’t be such a Scrooge, Owen.” Apparently Jack was part of this conversation too “Gwen’s right, it’ll be something nice to do, have a little fun.”<br/>
Owen just grumbled and stuck his scalpel into the dissected abdomen of the alien that they had found long-since-deceased and draped over a statue earlier that day.<br/>
“Well that’s decided then, as soon as the Rift isn’t being to noisy, we’re going Christmas shopping!”</p><p>🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄</p><p>As the 20th of December rolled around, gifts stared appearing under the Torchwood tree. Unsurprisingly, Gwen’s were the first to appear, followed by Ianto’s, then Toshiko’s, Jack’s, and finally Owen’s hastily wrapped gifts appeared on Christmas eve. </p><p>“Right, Gwen I’d expect you to want to spend Christmas with Rhys, so you can take your’s home, but make sure to Skype us, this was your idea after all”<br/>
“Thanks Jack, you’ll be seeing my face bright and early tomorrow”<br/>
“Not too early love, some of us will want to sleep in”<br/>
“Bold of you to assume you’re getting a lay in Owen, speaking of which, anyone else got plans?”<br/>
Owen burst out laughing at this.<br/>
“You really think we have anything better to do on Christmas Day? The only ones in relationships other than Gwen are you and Ianto, and your together! Tosh’s family don’t seem to give a shit about Christmas and my family are a pack of cunts, might as well spend it here”<br/>
“Aren’t you just charming” muttered Ianto.</p><p>🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄</p><p>As planned, 8 am, a caffeinated Tosh walks through the cog door followed by a half-awake Owen that Ianto sincerely hopes didn’t drive to work.<br/>
“Morning!”<br/>
“Good morning you two”<br/>
Owen murmurs something in the direction of a hello just before being handed a cup of coffee by Ianto.<br/>
“Yan you are a godsend, you know that”<br/>
“I’ll be sure to remind you of that statement next time you tell me I’m ‘just a teaboy’”<br/>
“Hey now, no fighting, we’re going to have a nice Christmas, I just had to fight Myfanwy off the turkey, oh and Gwen’s already called”<br/>
Jack waved at the largest monitor in the hub, who’s speakers emitted a tinny ‘hello’.<br/>
“Well, now we’re all here we ought to get on with the presents” Ianto gestured towards the now heavily decorated Torchwood tree “who’s should we start with? Gwen maybe, considering it was your idea?”</p><p>Gwen’s presents were beautifully wrapped in paper patterned with pictures of the Peanuts (presumably from A Charlie Brown Christmas), each with a gift tag stuck on.<br/>
“Hey, leather oil, got many uses for that!”<br/>
“Jack that’s for your vortex manipulator and you know it”<br/>
“I know, I know, thank you”<br/>
The moment was disturbed by Owen ripping the paper off with such force his present shot up in the air and was barely caught by Ianto before it landed on Tosh.<br/>
“A travel mug, really?”<br/>
“Look, I just don’t want you spilling coffee on Toshiko’s laptop again. It took her two weeks to fix it last time”<br/>
Owen just grumbled at that and looked over at Tosh, who had unwrapped her present, which was a silicone keyboard protector.<br/>
“I know he’ll do it again, so we might was well minimise the damage”<br/>
Before she could reply, Jack and Ianto seemed to have entered an argument.<br/>
“It’s obviously not for me Jack, look at the size of it, I could wear it as a belt, the tags even say Myfanwy, god you make everything sexual”<br/>
“Sorry I bought for your pet instead of you, but I was stumped on what to get”<br/>
“It’s fine honestly, one less thing for me to clear up, and exercising her will be a lot less stressful”<br/>
“Hey, could you get a matching one for Yan, it’ll go well with another present”<br/>
“I’m going to nip out and baste the turkey, be good” as Ianto left, Jack’s smile increased in size.<br/>
“I think we should open mine next, get a head start”</p><p>🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄</p><p>Ianto returned to find Jack grinning like the Cheshire Cat, Owen trying to wrestle his way into a large black box, and Gwen looking at what appeared to be a tail.<br/>
“Thought I’d wait for you” Tosh said, gesturing at the presents.<br/>
“Thanks”<br/>
Ianto made quick work of opening his box, finding a faux fur tiger tail, he gently lifted it out its box, held it upright, only to be greeted with a buttplug. He never dropped something so fast, practically flinging the offending present away from himself.<br/>
“Jack why?”<br/>
“I was waiting to see which one of you realised first” Jack was now doubled-over laughing.<br/>
“Why buttplugs?” Ianto had gone bright red.<br/>
“It’s a buttplug?” Now Gwen was looking equally horrified.<br/>
“I kept the receipt, you can return ‘em”<br/>
“I am not going to be seen returning a buttplug!” Owen roared.</p><p>🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄</p><p>After Jack had recovered from his laughing fit (and with tails returned to boxes) the present opening continued, well, it was more of a Christmas card break as most of Tosh’s presents came in that form.<br/>
“Ok so I wanted to get you all something meaningful, so I thought I’d put my expertise to use. Gwen, I know you’re organised, but I thought this reminder system would make your life a bit easier, and Jack, Owen I got you two virus protection software, no explanation needed”<br/>
Jack winks at Owen<br/>
“Yeah, we do get quite a few between us, especially will all that porn you watch”<br/>
“I do not watch that much porn!” Owen was going red.<br/>
“Yes you do” came the unanimous reply.<br/>
With Owen quietly fuming in the corner, attention turned to Ianto, who still hadn’t opened his present.<br/>
“Look, I’ll open mine when you open yours” he said, handing Tosh a present of near identical size and shape.<br/>
Both burst into laughter, upon realising they had got each other DS Lites and a copy of Animal Crossing.<br/>
“Looks like we’re playing this together, huh”<br/>
Ianto didn’t hear, mainly because Jack was already tearing into his present. A present Ianto was about to tell him was for later.<br/>
“Ooh, couples weekend away in the St. Pauli district, nice”<br/>
Attention diverted again, this time by Owen<br/>
“A grooming set, really?”<br/>
“Yes a grooming set. Make your own conclusions about my intent”<br/>
“Fuck this, I’m getting a drink” and with that Owen wandered off in the direction of the kitchen<br/>
“Anyway, Gwen, sorry it’s not more personal but I was stumped on what to get you”<br/>
“Aww, don’t worry pet, I love L'Occitane, been eyeing up some of their stuff for a while. Oh Owen, we’ve still got your presents!”<br/>
Owen, who had just returned from the kitchen with a glass and a carton of eggnog, blanched at the mention of his gifts.<br/>
“Yeah, er, right. Gwen, I er got you a lovely mug”<br/>
As if of cue, the body of the mug fell off the handle, and the sound of smashing ceramics was heard.<br/>
“Never mind, I suppose I owe you something else then, er moving on, Tosh! I got you a usb”<br/>
Tosh was reading the information on the back of the packaging containing the little dragon-shaped usb.<br/>
“It’s capacity is one gig”<br/>
“Fuck, er sorry about that, I’m sure you’ll find a use for it, right, Ianto! Mate, I got you a stick of rock”<br/>
Said stick of rock was no longer much of a stick, it now more closely resembled gravel.<br/>
“I don’t even like rock”<br/>
“Ehh, sorry about that, oh, and Jack, got you condoms”<br/>
“I guess it’s useful.”</p><p> </p><p>Maybe we should tell each other what we want next year” said Gwen<br/>
“Yep”<br/>
“Definitely”</p>
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